Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Cheap Geek way to do Laundry-

Cheap Geek way to do Laundry-

Alright listen up-
Laundry is important. Clean clothes are an absolute must, whether it be for school, work, dates or everyday day life, you need clean clothes. You want to present the image of being clean, presentable, and responsible. Because whether you like it or not- if your clothing is stained, visibly dirty or is mal-odorous people will make an impression about you. It may be the wrong one, you never want to be known as the guy/girl who stinks. You know what I’m saying- Hey yeah, the stinky guy, I know him yeah. Never mind the fact that they may have never smelled you directly- it doesn’t matter. In the third grade, I sat next to a girl that smelled like pee. She only smelled like pee once, but that was enough. I had her in other classes throughout my educational career and I could never get that “memory smell,” out of my head. Pee Girl is her name.

Back to Laundry-
I am a CheapGeek- I have minimal laundry skills. I will pass my “vast” laundry knowledge on to you.
These tips have been gathered over time.

Pretreat Stains-
Easy- if you have dish soap that gets grease out of the way (Dawn) you are good.
Here's the deal- draw a circle around the offending stain. Make sure it's a little larger than the stain itself.
This allows the stain to NOT spread past the dish soap wall of protection. After the circle- fill it in with
the dish soap. Let it set for about 20 min's or until you do your laundry next.

Load the machine-
It's ok to mix light and dark colors- IF YOU USE COLD WATER AND COLD WATER RINSE.
If the thought of mixing light and dark colors is disturbing to you- (you really need to relax)
separate into two piles. Note: If you have a mixed color garment, decide if it is more light or dark.
Choose the pile accordingly.The goal here is to NOT have red or pink underwear, unless they are already red or pink.

It should be noted- Some say load the laundry detergent before the clothes- some say after.
This is up to you, if you use powder- you may want to add that first. I stuff the hell out of the washing machine,
I load the detergent first.

Here's a tip- Add a 1/2 cup of WHITE VINEGAR to the wash cycle. It will increase the power of the detergent, making your clothes come out cleaner, brighter. They won't smell like vinegar.

Here's a related tip- Some people swear by adding Ammonia to their clothes (wash cycle) they say the effect is much like vinegar. It also may help to sanitize the washing machines at your laundry mat or dorm or apartment washers.

Here's a related tip- to remove the funky thrift store smell- from funky thrift store clothes- add a FULL cup of white vinegar to the wash cycle and a 1/2 cup to the rinse cycle. Removes funkiness, residual soap, kills critters etc.
Now you can add your own funky smell to your "new" Backstreet Boy's World Tour concert shirt.

To Soften or not to soften-
Being a full grown man- I don't care.
With that being said- if you use cheap laundry detergent as I do. You may want to soften the laundry.
It has an added benefit of adding additional fragrance. Most cheap laundry detergents could use a little more
fragrance. That helps your clothes to smell cleaner longer. Also may extend the wear ability of clothes before the next laundry cycle. Multiple wears save money and time. There's a fine line between wearing something too long before a wash.
Don't cross it. (See PEE-GiRl, above)

Follow the directions on the fabric softener, add the softener at the appropriate time.

Here's a tip- Use a 1/2 to a full cup of WHITE VINEGAR to the rinse cycle.
It softens clothes, helps to remove soap and does not smell like vinegar after the load is done.
It also costs about 7 cents a load.

Let the machine do it's job.
If you load the hell out of the machine (as I do) keep an eye on it.
An unbalanced load may result in a partially incomplete wash cycle.
That can be a tragedy- especially if you have don't extra quarters.

Time to dry-
Load the dryer- set it on the highest setting (four million degrees) add quarters, add a dryer sheet and let it roll.
I don't worry about delicates- I don't have anything described as "delicate," no advice here.

Here's a related tip- You can add a couple of drops of cologne or perfume to an article of clothing before the drying process. As the dryer heats the cologne / perfume it will apply itself to your clothes.
Be careful! Too much and you'll smell like a French whore. If you are a French Whore I apologize.
One or two drops max.

Ding- remove clothes- either fold them on the spot or prepare to remove wrinkles. I iron.

Here's a tip- Don't use the steam setting on your iron. Use a spray bottle, to mist the clothes and create your own steam.
Over time the steam vents in your iron can develop rust or hard water deposits.
The rust deposits will magically appear on your white clothes, before an important interview or date.

Put your laundry in its perspective place(s) Now your are ready for next month, or your next laundry-doing cycle.
DONE- Relax, go eat sandwich.